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Stoned.  Completely fucked out of my mind, or at least that’s how it appeared in one of my more recent dreams where I took a blunt the size of a twelve inch submarine sandwich, and downed it in my tiny apartment bathroom.  Where did this come from??  I haven’t smoked the good stuff in almost 10 years!  Why now?  Is this my subconscious crying out to let loose?  Am I deeply stressed inside??  My mind seems to want to medicate.

As a point of reference, in my dream, I wasn’t fucking around.

Defeated and hairy.  Completely shut down by a girl that I haven’t seen since high school, ten years ago, all because my chest was too hairy!  This, albeit, another recent dream, has me wondering- what the fuck?  Not only do I have no connection to this girl currently, but I barely talked to her ten years ago.  Why all of a sudden now is she popping up in my dreams?  And what the hell?! Even in my own thoughts I get turned down by pretty blonde girls!  And for my chest hair, none-the-less, something that has never bothered me.  Is it low self-esteem or a need for immediate change?  Should I buy a dime bag, shave my chest, and hunt this girl down??

Real men have chest hair, not like all you Nancies running around today.

Yes, my life is in turmoil at the moment.  I hate my job and looking for a change, I broke up with a very nice girl because “it just didn’t feel right”, I quit smoking, I lost weight, I’ve made a few new lady friends, and I’ve been drinking like a goddamn fish.  I’m spiraling out of control!  Or am I?  Maybe this is it. Maybe this is living and I’ve just never experienced it.  Maybe I’m on the cusp of a utopia so bizarre, that society deems it unacceptable.  So what if I want to quit my job.  So what if I want to move across the world. So what if I want to drink in excess until the wee hours of the morning.  So what if this girl follows me home and I decide to keep her for the next six hours. So what if I want to smoke a monster doobie in my tiny bathroom.  I think I’ll do that.  All of it.  I’ll go down with the ship.